He’d had enough.  Felt like there was no point in struggling on.  This was it.

David* had been finding university tough for the last few months but couldn’t see any other alternative for his life.  He felt like he’d just have to keep going, hoping that something better was on the way.  But to him it seemed like he fell at every hurdle. Despite constantly being told he’d be so good at the job he was training to do, he now hated what he’d once loved.

Also, while he’d felt lonely before, this was different.  As much as he longed to be with other people and feel validated by them, he couldn’t bear facing them and having to wheel out ‘the persona’ again.  Inside he was the most unhappy he’d ever been, but to others he was still the joker, still the source of banter.

I guess though you can only pretend for so long.  As the loneliness intensified in his head, so he questioned everything.  “Who could love me when you couldn’t even like me?… Not even God could love me.”

In his mind the decision was made.  He saw no point in living. “I’d be better off dead,” he thought.

Christmas and then New Year was a particular low point.  A few times he even sat, tablets in hand, ready to do it, but something stopped him.  “I can’t do it at Christmas, it would ruin that time of year for my family.”  So he resolved to do it on his birthday.  His reasoning?  This way he thought they would only have one date to remember…

But because of a friend, unaware of how low he was feeling, his plan would not come to fruition.  She was planning a birthday party for him.  This was a turning point…

“Maybe if she cares enough to do this for me, then maybe it’s not all as bad as I thought.”  And as more and more people indicated they wanted to come to his party, he began to realise that he was liked and loved more than he’d ever imagined.  Suddenly life didn’t seem so bleak, he began to gain a bit of perspective and see that it didn’t matter if university worked out or not.  He saw there was a future for him.

David’s friend had no other motive for organising his party, other than wanting a friend to have a great time for their birthday.  But through this action she managed to save his life.  She probably doesn’t know how much she impacted his life, or how thankful he really is for that party.  He’s now come out the other side of that darkness and is excited to see what’s next for him.  It was a birthday where for him, hope was re-born.

*Name has been changed to protect the individual’s identity